Book Review: LADY IN WAITING: DEVELOPING YOUR LOVE – DEBBY JONES AND JACKIE KENDALL

Ifekoya Tolulonimie

Lady in waiting is a book that has been written to help single ladies find their God-given identity, set standards and develop themselves into who God wants them to be;His bride.

It is not just another book for single ladies. It is unique because its emphasis is not just on a woman’s status(whether married or single) but on the state of her heart. It was written to direct a woman’s attention towards the One who really understands the longings of her heart. It nudges a woman closer to God while acknowledging any longings she may have to be loved and cherished by a man. In the words of the author, “this book is not teaching/ talking about finding the right man, but becoming the right woman”.

‘Lady in waiting’ focuses on ten qualities/ characteristics a godly woman should possess, using the book of Ruth as a reference point. Ruth was modelled as a lady in waiting in whose life the ten qualities are beautifully modelled and displayed.

The ten qualities/ characteristics a ‘lady in waiting’ should possess are. She must be a;

Lady of Reckless Abandonment:

  • A woman is not born a woman. Nor does she become one when she marries a man, bears a child and does their dirty linen, not even when she joins a women’s liberation movement. A woman becomes a woman when she becomes what God wants her to be.
  • Happy are those married or single who have discovered that happiness is not found in marriage but in a right relationship with God.

A lady of reckless abandonment is one who has broken her alabaster box at the feet of the saviour. She has given everything totally unto Him and recognizes Him as her bridegroom.

Lady of Diligence.
Self centeredness would rob you of the joy of serving.

  • life is satisfying when only you diligently serve the Lord whatever the circumstances.
  • The single lady/ woman can be involved in the lord’s work on a level that a married woman cannot because of the distractions and responsibilities of being a wife and a mother.
  • Although, a single woman may long for the “chaos” of a family, she must not waste time longing and wishing for it. She must be diligent to use her single time wisely now. She has more control over her time and choices now than she will probably ever have again.

Lady of Faith.

  • A lady of faith trusts God for the provision of Mr right, not by her own sensual sight and orchestrations.
  • The existence of more single men does not mean exemption from the often trying process of waiting for God’s best by faith.
  • In order to have”eyes of faith”, you may have to use a spiritual eye wash to remove the debris that the enemy has dropped into your eyes.
  • If Jesus wants you married, He will orchestrate the encounter. You have nothing to fear except getting in His way and trying to write the script rather than following His; He does have your best interest at heart.

Lady of Virtue

  • One of life’s most costly and beautiful object is born out of pain and irritation the pearl. The greater the irritation, the more valuable the pearl.
  • God is using the sands(pain and irritation) of singleness to make you perfect and complete. He is developing pearls of character in your life.
  • What you look like on the inside is far more important than what you look like on the outside.

Lady of Devotion

  • True love can only be found in undistracted devotion to Jesus Christ.

Lady of Purity

  • Evil associations/ friendships can mar your purity.
  • Moving / keeping ungodly male friends can also mar your purity.
  • As a lady in waiting, to stay pure, you must take heed to the word of God’; meditate on it constantly, let it guide your thoughts, actions and behaviours.

Lady of Security

  • Insecurity causes you to cling in a relationship.
  • Only God’s love brings security.
  • As a lady of security, wait for your heavenly father to bring about His perfect plans for you.
  • Instead of hunting for a husband or boyfriend, concentrate on becoming a woman of excellence.
  • Being secured in God’s forever love allows a woman to build relationships for friendship, not merely romance for the future.

Lady of Contentment.

  • A lady in waiting finds her capacity to wait for God’s best to be rooted in contentment.
  • Lack of contentment is the result of the terrible burden of wanting life on our terms.
  • For a single lady to experience genuine contentment while soloing in a “couples’ world” she must avoid the ditches of discontentment.
  • Learning contentment requires complete dependence on Jesus.

Lady of Conviction.

  • God has the best in His hand for those who seek Him.
  • Your destiny in not something that is left to chance or fate; it is a product of wise choices.
  • Choices guarded by your convictions rather than by chance determines your destiny.
  • You cannot make good choices without proper biblical convictions.
  • Convictions are standards that serves as as spring board for our choices.
  • A life long relationship demands the highest standards of regulation.
  • Clear standards for dating and relating will guard you against compromise and making wrong choices out of sudden emotion rather than a God- directed will.
  • A Lady of conviction gives the lord permission to renew her on a daily basis.

Lady of Patience.

  • God has always desired to bless His people but He would not force them to do His best.
  • Waiting patiently on God is rewarding and very fulfilling.
  • Impatience brings fear.
  • The lady of patience rest solely on God’s word waiting for His perfect timing.

Anything other than a love relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, regardless of how good that thing may be, will only bring you discouragement and disillusionment.
Wait patiently on the Lord…Psalm 37:7 Psalm 131, 27.

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