You’re not beautiful because your husband says you’re beautiful.
You’re not handsome because your wife says you’re handsome.
You’re handsome or beautiful because God says so.
What your spouse says is a CONFIRMATION; not a VALIDATION, and it’s pretty good for couples to exchange love language with each other.
It is GOOD, RIGHT and COMPULSORY to always tell your wife how beautiful she is.
It is GOOD, RIGHT and COMPULSORY to always tell your husband how handsome he is.
This is PERFECTLY IN LINE and should be practised by couples regularly.
However, the foundation for a robust self-image and self-esteem in marriage is not in what your husband or wife says about you but it’s in what God’s Word says about you.
There are wives whose husbands tell regularly how beautiful they are but they don’t believe. Those women think that their husbands are flattering them. Why? They’ve got “internal issues” to deal with in the light of God’s Word.
If your SENSE OF VALIDATION comes from the sweet words that your husband or wife says about you, then the day that doesn’t happen (for whatever reason), you slide into depression.
If you have a low self-esteem in marriage, you will be full of unrealistic expectations and you will be too demanding.
You will become difficult to satisfy and the sincerity of your spouse in expressing his or her love will be misinterpreted and misrepresented.
Couples who derive their sense of IDENTITY, SECURITY and VALIDATION from the revelation of God’s Word don’t put undue pressure on each another.
They speak sweet words to each other because it’s right to do so and also because the Bible teaches it.
They also do this because it reinforces their love for each other and cements their bond of affection.
But they know that ultimately, THEIR TRUE SENSE OF SECURITY AND VALIDATION stems from WHO THEY ARE IN CHRIST.
They know that they’re made in the image of God and after His likeness and that they’re creatures of the highest value – Gen.1:26-27, Ps.8:3-6.
As a husband or wife, you must know that you’re fearfully and wonderfully made by God:
I will praise thee; for I AM FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
If you’re raised on the diet of Scriptures like this right from childhood, then you will be a great asset to your spouse.
The difference will be VERY CLEAR. It will affect your attitude and disposition to life positively.
When our daughters are raised with Scriptures that affirm their identity in Christ, then as they go through life, they won’t fall into the hands of deceitful guys who only have sugar-coated mouth.
When we raise our sons with Scriptures like this, then they will have the boldness and confidence to explore all of God’s possibilities in them without succumbing to intimidation from anyone.
Always see yourself in the light of God’s Word, such that if anybody says you’re handsome or beautiful, then you thank God for their CONFIRMATION, not VALIDATION, and if they say otherwise, you know that they have just spoken into the air – it doesn’t scratch anything.
One day, I was driving into OAU Campus, and one of the security guards at the main gate told me, “Wow, you’re very handsome Sir”.
I just smiled and I said, “Thank you Sir”. We bless God for everything. I knew he was only CONFIRMING the work of God. Glory to God!
If he had said otherwise, would it have affected me? NOT A BIT. I would only know that he spoke into the air.
I’m fearfully and wonderfully made in Christ, contrary opinion doesn’t matter.
You see, you’ve got to stand in front of the mirror to see that handsome man and beautiful woman.
You must learn to make the devil mad. Can you say after me, “I WILL MAKE THE DEVIL MAD”. Glory to God!!!
I’m just so excited in my heart because this is a liberation for many lives.
God doesn’t lie; He means what He says and He says what He means.
Therefore, in your marriage, LET YOUR SENSE OF VALIDATION COME FROM THE REVELATION OF WHO YOU ARE IN CHRIST, NOT JUST WHAT YOUR HUSBAND OR WIFE SAYS ABOUT YOU.
They can CONFIRM, and they should of course CONFIRM. Speak sweet words regularly to each other. Don’t say that you forgot.
A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.
How forcible are right words! but what doth your arguing reprove?
As a Pastor, I don’t call my wife “Mama Yard”; I call her “Sweet Love”.
If “Mama Yard” is what your wife likes, then so be it – that’s not a sin, but I WILL MAKE THE DEVIL MAD
Trust this is a blessing Sirs and Mas?
Source: Bimbo Animashaun Teaching Ministries |Published with permission.